Milligantics

SILLY OLD BABOON

There was a baboon, who one afternoon, said "I think I will fly to the sun,"

So with two great palms strapped to his arms, he started his take-off run.

Mile after mile, he galloped in style, but never once left the ground,

"He's running too slow," said a passing crow, "try reaching the speed of sound."

He put on a spurt, by God* how it hurt, the soles of his feet caught fire.

There were great clouds of steam as he raced through a stream but he still didn't get any higher.

Racing on through the night both his knees caught alight and smoke billowed out from his rear.

Quick to his aid came a fire brigade, who chased him for over a year.

Many moons passed by, did Baboon ever fly? Did he ever get to the sun?

I've just heard today that he's well on his way, he'll be passing through Acton at one.

I've just heard today that he's well on his way, he'll be passing through Acton at one!

 

Any child who does not wish to sing the words 'by God' is welcome to not sing them

I'VE NEVER FELT FINER

Said the King of China

I've never felt finer, said the King of China

No, I've never felt finer, said the King, the King of China

No I never felt finer sitting down to dine!

Then he fell down dead, he died, he did.

He fell down dead, he died he did.

It was only half-past nine!

Said the King of China

I've never felt finer, said the King of China

No, I've never felt finer, said the King, the King of China

Said the King.

I'M WALKING BACKWARDS FOR CHRISTMAS

I'm walking backwards for Christmas, across the Irish sea,

I'm walking backwards for Christmas, it's the only thing for me.

I've tried walking sideways and walking to the front,

But people only stop and say, 'It's a publicity stunt'.

But I'm walking backwards for Christmas to prove that I love you!

THE ELEPHANT

The only animal if you please, that can bend forward on all four knees.

Whoever made him did not know the disproportion it would show.

Poor elephant at his shape must rail a nose that's longer than his tail.

RAIN

There are holes in the sky where the rain gets in,

There are holes in the sky where the rain gets in,

where the rain gets in,

But they're ever so small, but they're ever so small,

That's why rain is thin.

MY SISTER LAURA

My sister Laura's bigger than me,

And lifts me up quite easily,

I can't lift her, I've tried and tried,

She must have something heavy inside.

SARDINES

A baby sardine saw her first submarine,

She was scared and watched through a peephole.

Oh come, come, come, said the sardine's mum,

It's only a tin full of people.

BAD REPORT - GOOD MANNERS

My Daddy said: "My son, my son, this school report is bad!"

I said: "I did my best, I did! My Dad, my Dad, my Dad!"

"Explain, my son, my son," he said, "why the bottom of the class?"

"I stood aside, my Dad, my Dad, to let the others pass!"

ON THE NING NANG NONG

On the Ning Nang Nong, where the cows go bong and the monkeys all say boo.

There's a Nong Nang Ning, where the trees go ping and the teapots jibber jabber joo.

On the Nong Ning Nang, all the mice go clang and you can't catch 'em when they do,

So it's Ning Nang Nong, cows go bong.

Nong Nang Ning, trees go ping,

Nong Ning Nang, mice go clang,

What a noisy place to be belong is the

Ning Nang Ning Nang Ning Nang Ning

On the Ning Nang Ning Nang Ning Nang Ning Nang, Nong!

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